It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted my weigh-ins, so here goes a recap of my last few weeks.
I was 199.1 pounds for my week 42 weigh in which was the last time I blogged. Here’s what happened since then.
Week 43 (7/26) – 198.1 pounds
Week 44 (8/2) – 208.0 pounds
Week 45 (8/9) – 203.9 pounds (Today)
So the good news is that I lost 4 pounds this week! The bad news is that I gained TEN the week before and am once again back over 200 lbs.
Obviously I struggled some over the last few weeks considering the gains I posted above. When I say that I struggled, I mean that I haven’t been running 3 days a week like my training calls for and my eating has been horrendous. However, it goes much further than that though and in the spirit of full disclosure, I have a confession to make. A few weeks ago I was on my way home from work and I passed an old friend (i.e. temptation). Who is that old friend you ask? 7-11. You see, before I started on this journey to a healthier lifestyle I used to stop by 7-11 or McDonald’s on my way home from work probably 3 times a week and get something eat on my way home. This wouldn’t be so bad, except that I would also eat a full dinner once I got home. Yes, you read that right. I would eat basically 2 dinners about 3 nights a week. My husband, nor my children ever knew about this little habit that I had. Well, a few weeks ago on my way home I needed gas and stopped at 7-11 for some. I don’t know what drew me into the store, but for whatever reason, I walked out with a chocolate eclair. No, it wasn’t a full meal, but it was still a chocolate freaking eclair! What was I thinking? This confession wouldn’t be that bad had it ended there, but it didn’t. Unfortunately, it was only the first of many stops to 7-11 on my way home from work over the last few weeks. Some days I’d just get an eclair. One day I walked out with a bag of funyuns, a candy bar, and a chocolate eclair. One day I had all of that plus a taquito. I scarfed it all down before I even hit the highway and walked in the house like I hadn’t eaten since lunch asking “what’s for dinner?” This is a very hard thing for me to admit, especially in such a public way, but I must be open and honest if I ever hope to come out of this funk and stop these habits FOREVER. This blog was founded on honesty and it doesn’t get much more honest than admitting you’ve been eating 2 dinners.
So, this week I am instilling a new daily goal to NOT do this as well as some familiar weekly goals. I may be in Week 45, but I’m going to set goals for myself as if I were back in Week 1. No second helpings. Measure my portions. Minimum of 80 oz of water per day. No tea. No fast food. No stops at 7-11 for a pre-dinner, dinner. You know, back to basics.
I do have some good news and that is that I once again have internet at home! This means that I can start blogging regularly again. I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. I can’t explain it, but I truly believe that a big part of why I was so successful during the first half of my journey was because of the accountability that blogging provided; not to mention all the inspiration and motivation that’s to be found in the weight loss blogosphere! I dearly miss that daily dose of inspiration that I’d get from reading blogs, so I’m glad to have internet back. We had dropped it a few months ago in effort to save money. At the time I didn’t think the sacrifice would be that big of a deal, but boy was I mistaken! So yeah. I look forward to doing some bloggy catch up tomorrow! I am so appreciative that you guys stood by me over the past few months even when I wasn’t there for you. Deeply grateful.
P.S. My passion for running has done nothing but get stronger and stronger. I am still training for my first half marathon with Caleb’s Crusade and have a few more races up my sleeve that I’ll tell you about soon…I’m very excited about what my running future holds for me! I just have to get my eating under control now…
225 miles walked/jogged/ran since January 1st. (2010 Goal: 500)
55.0 miles biked since January 1st. (2010 Goal: 300)
(6) 5Ks finished since January 1st.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow I admire your courage sis for admitting that!!! It’s hard… it’s a struggle every day… I’m off track because I haven’t been able to go to the gym for awhile. So I’m hoping to be able to get a few months membership soon and get back on track!!! I love you! Just stay strong and keep fighting!
Well, THERE you are! Glad to see you! (((hug)))
Aw, Josie, I have so been there. I never told anyone this either, but I did the “dinner before dinner” thing, too, except my stop was usually Burger King for a hamburger or two. And yep, it was usually only about 5 minutes from home, with dinner waiting for me. Looking back, I feel a little sad, because I obviously felt that it was the best I could do to desperately grasp some “me time” to transition between work and home.
It’s going to be hard to kick the 7-11 habit, but it’s a good kind of hard, like learning to run or working out. Some tactical things you might try are having a small nutritious snack before you drive home (especially if you have a long drive home and have to cook dinner at the end of it), chewing a favorite gum flavor or maybe getting a book on CD from your library to listen to during your commute. I’m sure you have even better “you-specific” ideas about what you can do to make yourself feel even more cared-for than treating yourself to 7-11 stuff.
.-= Pubsgal´s last blogblog…Weekly Update- 8-4-10 =-.
Hi Josie! So glad you have internet at home now. It will be nice to see you posting more regularly.
Your confession is one of my secrets too. I am a secret eater. Tonight my boyfriend was out at beer and wing night with his buddies and I secretly ordered food…binged and then threw away most of the evidence. There are a few cans of soda left, but I hid them in the fridge.
It is a very hard habit to talk about and to break and I wish you much success.
I am thrilled that you still love running!
.-= Kimberley´s last blogblog…Busy Day Tomorrow! =-.
THANK YOU for this post. Your honesty is SOO inspiring to me.
Glad you have the net back!! And good luck with your healthier habits
.-= Val´s last blogblog…Back to the Starting board =-.
Glad you’re back. I was worried about you. Way to bounce back from a challenging time!
Boy, do I know where you are coming from on this! It is so easy to slip back into old habits, even if they have been out of our lives for years. Unfortunately, I have found that I will have to be forever diligent, but it is worth it.
Josie, you’re very strong that you admitted this on your blog. I’m not sure if I would do that because I would be ashamed.
Well done girl and I bet it’s over now, back to blogging and back to running, it makes you feel so much better, you know that.
first off welcome back to the bloggy world!
we all have our struggles, but the victory comes in not giving up. sure you might have a relapse or two, but you’re not throwing in the towel.
.-= Brooke´s last blogblog…Im a 10! =-.
So glad you’ve got internet on at home – I still don’t have it. I’ve been w/o Internet at home for 3 years now – it gets old. The most important part is that you’re back to the blogworld! YAY!
Glad you’re back! Great job with the full disclosure. I think you’re right that admitting it, no matter how painful it was, will help you be successful going forward. We’re all routing for you!
Yay for home internet again! And I congratulate you for getting right back on track, staying honest and sticking with your plan. The fact that you are recognizing your old habits and sitting with them instead of just falling right back into everything is progress! And I love that you’re so passionate about running – I wish I could find that passion for running.
Definitely work on your food – the day I learned that 80% of the fitness/weight loss battle is in the food is the day my whole world changed! Keep on fighting the good fight Josie – I know you can do it!
Sista!!
Oh, man, Josie, secret eating has totally been a downfall of mine. But it’s funny, since I never can hide it as well as I thought.
One way that helped me? I rarely carry cash and Anna is in charge of our finances. Therefore, if I grab a cheat meal, she’ll know. I know, it’s silly, but it really has saved me countless Calories.
Your courage is impressive. SO impressive, Josie! I’m really proud of you (and you finally have the internet again!!!) for posting this struggle of yours.
To be honest, I was so afraid that you had a soda–but was pleased to see that you didn’t. Hot saying that the pre-dinner is a good thing, but I know you’ll get through it.
I’m really excited to be seeing your posts again–it’s like something’s been missing. Really. And it’s you!
.-= beej´s last blogblog…Back to LIfe- Back to Goals =-.
Good for you for confessing something that you /know/ is bad for you. It’s hard to make a public announcement about something like that, but maybe now that you have, it won’t be so bad? I truly do believe that blogging can help you stay accountable.
Keep going!
.-= Merry´s last blogblog…Notes from the road =-.
It seems everyone I have spoken to has had a crappy week. I’m still where I should be this week (at an average loss of 1 1/2 pounds a week) but there’s no wriggle room and I need to get back to basics again too. Being under or over 200 plays games with out minds . . .
At least we know we’re not alone.
Good post – thanks for sharing.
Ann
Less of Me
Hey chick,
I’m a little late commenting on this blog post. But I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your confession. I did something similar a few weeks ago. I had a motive, though. I was entering a biggest loser type contest and I decided that I was going to sandbag a few pounds. So for the week before the contest, I ate whatever and whenever I wanted. I wanted to pack on a few pounds to give myself more to lose during the contest. Boy did I pay with more than just pounds. I felt awful. Emotionally, physically, all-around awful.
But the bottom line is that I learned something valuable from it. Living that way made me feel horrible. I learned that it was not worth it. Our mutual old friend, temptation, he doesn’t have as much control of me now… because I have realized how awful he makes me feel.
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